What should the Mother of the Bride do on the day after the wedding?

Well, the wedding’s over.  After all the months of planning, the long heart to heart chats, the nerves and the excitement – here you are at last with a married daughter on her way.

You were up till late yesterday saying goodbye to relatives you may not see for a while, ensuring everyone had been paid and/or thanked, checking the venue was left as it should be and making certain all presents had been gathered up and stored. 

Your daughter and her husband are away in a hotel somewhere waiting to take a flight to their honeymoon destination.  The guests are having a lie-in at their hotels and Airbnb’s before the drive home.

You crawl out of bed to get that first cup of coffee.

If you’re anywhere near my age (70) being busy all day, on your feet, chatting non-stop and with your emotions in full flood, you’ll be very tired.  It’s now that you notice extra little aches in your hips and sore areas on your feet. So once you’ve had breakfast and are ready for the new day, don’t dive into follow-up tasks straight off.  There’s no deadline anymore – unless of course you had a home wedding in which case read these notes the day after all the clearing up has finished and all the rentals are off the premises.

This is the day for serious me-time. Relax, recall special moments, smile at those amusing incidents and start to get back to normal life and its rhythms.  There’s no need to dash straight into thank you letters or ‘did you get home alright’ telephone calls.  Everyone’s tired and needs peace and calm today.  And you most of all.

You should have made a brief list of things you need to do after the wedding – thanking relatives for coming so far, completing any final outstanding payments, applying for your deposit to be returned for any rentals that required one, fixing any little difficulties that arose on the day but could wait to be resolved until afterwards.  But don’t look at this list yet.

If you have relatives or friends staying with you leave them a note on their door or in the kitchen to explain that they have to get their own breakfast and you will be incommunicado till lunchtime.  Hopefully when you invited them you explained this would be the deal on the morning after.

Read these notes before the wedding so that you can have everything at hand for this day.  Now enjoy!

60 minute Mother of the Bride reviver.

Here’s how to ease away your tiredness and spend an important hour getting relaxed and ready for those extra little tasks that now need to be done.

  1.  Switch on your favourite chill-out music and make sure your room is warm
  2. Put on a bathrobe or your most relaxed clothing
  3. Prepare a foot spa or large bowl with one of the recipes below
  4. Soak your feet for 15 minutes in enough water to cover all your foot, adding hot water if your bath cools down too much 
  5. Then dry your feet carefully and massage with your favourite foot or body lotion
  6. Stay barefoot as you pad around to prepare the next step
  7. Cleanse your face then apply a moisturizing face mask
  8. Support your feet with a cushion or a rolled towel then lie back on your bed or the sofa
  9. Concentrate only on your breathing and the music for 10-15 minutes
  10. Remove the face mask and apply a light moisturizer
  11. Put on relaxed clothing and trainers suitable for outdoors, forget about make-up.
  12. If you have a band or watch that counts your steps remember to wear it.  Head off for a half-hour walk or 5000 steps.
  13. If your phone goes, ignore it.
  14. Once you are home again sit down with a cup of your favourite tea.
  15. Look through any photos you took or you’ve been sent of the wedding – don’t reply to any messages or calls unless they sound very urgent.
  16. Rerun in your head the best moments of the wedding.
  17. Get up and slowly stretch your arms above your head or in front of you.
  18. Carefully rock your head on your neck.
  19. Squeeze your shoulders tight then let them relax totally.
  20. Circle your wrists.
  21. Now you’re ready to get started on your post-wedding to-do list and to catch up on those calls

My best foot soak recipes

Using Essential Oils

Take half a cup of Epsom salts  (No salts? You’ll still get benefit from the warm water and oils)

Pour into a foot spa or a bowl filled with enough warm water to immerse your feet

Add a few drops of an essential oil such as:

Peppermint – used for aching muscles and to relieve itching

Lavender – relaxing and said to be a pain reliever for muscles

Rosemary – soothing and antiseptic

Juniper berry – is believed to alleviate muscle aches, including those caused by arthritis.

Rose Geranium – is used to help blisters and cuts heal

Eucalyptus – is an analgesic so can help to numb your feet, cool them and reduce inflammation.

Camomile tea infusion

Steep several bags of camomile tea in very hot water and add some dried parsley.

When the water has cooled to a comfortable temperature, slide your feet in.

Ginger soup

Grate two large pieces of fresh ginger root into very hot water.

Add a little olive oil or bath oil

When the water has cooled to warm, pop in your feet.

Wintergreen veloute

To your footbath add a few drops of Wintergreen essential oil – said to help with pain and swelling and to cool enflamed areas. 

Add half a cup of milk and stir.

Immerse your feet in this soothing opaque liquid

Add a little texture to the mix

You can place smooth lumpy objects such as pebbles or glass marbles in the bowl and gently massage your feet across them as you soak.  Heavenly!

Frankly I will be extending this reviver to at least two and a half hours when my daughter’s wedding is over. And I might spend most of the rest of the day immersing myself in a good book. Life can wait.

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